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TheTemporaryCrackleCoalitionCompanion
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| 02.01.01/3:26am EST | chelle on my mind |
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I have officially made it as a professional musician. I wrote 2 guitar harmonys/melodies while in the studio yesterday. My cousins band is currently recording thier demo and now, due to my creative involvement, they will surely succeed. Many of my ideas have been considered and I will be seeking co-producer credit for that song. I almost forgot to to mention that I play like god as well. While entralled in our libations, I took the liberty to record one of my subtle, yet very critical guitar tracks only to move the whole room to tears. Damn I'm good. Now, to bring myself back down to earth again I tried writing music to my buddy Marco's lyrics. Here is the latest and newest attempt. Promise me you'll dim the lights, lean back and relax when you listen to it. Don't try for happiness. |
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| 1.30.00/2:56am EST | I HATE COPS |
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Triplets A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a masked robber runs out of a bank and shoots her three times in the stomach. Luckily the babies are okay. The surgeon decides to leave the bullets in because it's risky to operate. She gave birth to two healthy daughters and a healthy son. All was fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walked into the room in tears. "What's wrong?" asks the mother. "I was taking a pee and this bullet came out" replied the daughter. The mother tells her it's okay and explains what happened 16 years ago. About a week later the second daughter walked into the room in tears. "Mom, I was taking a pee and this bullet came out." Again the mother tells her not to worry and explained what happened 16 years ago. A week later her son walked into the room in tears. "It's okay" says the Mom, "I know what happened. You were taking a pee and a bullet came out." "No," says the boy, "I was playing with myself, and I shot the dog.
I spent my sunday morning at the county jail, what did you do? As most of you may know I was one of 3 talented people that orchestrated the mess known as "Bands, Beer and Bitches Pt.2" featuring Kite Flying Society, Man Holding Briefcase, Pointless, and The World At Dawn. The "party", as the cops put it, was raided at the end of Kite Flying Society's exceptional performance during an otherwise peaceful evening. Seven pigs in total came into the yard forcefully and terrorized, abused and vandalized our venue and it's jovial patrons. They were an unruly and angry bunch lead by a complete fucking cunt who would not listen to anything I had to say. She painted us as a group of rotten fucking people trying to damage everything we possibly could including, but not limited to, her well being and the poor, innocent souls of underage drinkers who willfully engaged in consuming a never ending beer supply. Most of the other cops seemed to be the peaceful, yet predictably stupid type of cops you would expect to be sent to break up a good time (you don't send the sharpest tool in the shed to scoop up dog shit). The "loads that should have been swallowed", as I like to call them, went into the house and kicked eveyone out immediately. Thank god there was nothing special for them to take, but they did tell me that I wasn't staying there (an idea which I argued almost into a jail cell) and also took a keg as evidence. They cut the fucking tap too, but I fixed the tap and the stupid fuck at the beer place didn't notice that 3 kegs became 2 (we also scammed them for free ice). I think those are signs of my impecable karma. Overall it was a great time, lots of people got to hear great music and have a good time. I'm just kinda pissed that people were sneaking in and jumping the fence all night. I thought people didn't like to rip off the little guy, but then again the incident with "Dade County's finest" reassured me that humans are generally going to take advantage of any situation they possibly can. (What's even worse was that a few of them were considered "good friends" of at least one of the organizers). The most dissapointing event of the weekend was the cancelation of The Agency due to thier disbanding, they are a great band and thier music will be missed. Severely. random crap- I had a dream about a half-japanese girl. I love sleeping, especially more than 8 hours, that's when i dream the best stuff becuase I can control it the easiest. Mormon Masturbation Prevention- a classic http://www.flatulence-filter.com Let's take a double dose of laxatives daily and write about it! It's funny. Read it. "Dude! Let's drill a hole in my head, man! I bet you I'll get really high for like, probably a few weeks 'n shit!!! More music coming soon....just waiting for the right amount of depression.
-lawrence |
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| 1.15.01/4:06pm EST | frusty |
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New song today. Check the top of the page. "A little about me" I think it was last Easter when I went to see my dad that he asked me a question that confused the fuck out of me and I still strive to answer, he asked me why I was so angry. Of course the first thing out of my mouth wasn't anything significant. I probably said, "I don't know" and shrugged my shoulders like a confused 3rd-grader but I was seriously pissed. How the hell could he ask me that? and why did it piss me off? I think the answer to the latter is obvious, because I am angry. But do I have a right to be? Sure. Fuck yeah! I have every right to be a pissed off son of a bitch because I am literally a "son of a bitch". If you ask my sister she would say I am more of a "son of a stupid fucking cunt", but we all know about my mother, right? In case you're unsure of the evil that carried me for nine months, go here. Listen to "beast within" parts 3 and 4 (halfway down the page). Enough with the blaming of the parents! Ok... back on track, here we go... I got this email today and man does this stupidity piss me off.
Date:Fri, 12 Jan 2001 1:02:08 PM Eastern Standard Time
the top part of this letter is what he wrote me(alex) Im on melanies
screen name....the bottom is my response to that fat fucker.....
Fuckin' A. Why would anyone send me this? Like I fucking care. I hung out with that girl Alex once or twice. She's an idiot anyway. I only know her because I gave her friend the ole' L.D. and I showed her what it means to be a cunning linguist with a packet of pop-rocks. AOL = Retards. Enough said.
Jessica (the love of my life) sent me this link. It's a good read.
I jerked off here, here and here.
MTV's Jackass: post-comedy comedy.
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| 1.08.01/10:16pm EST | Corporate Rock Sucks! |
Here are some very good articles reprinted from Maximum Rock 'N Roll. Read 'em. I'd sell it you you but I am currently listening to Love Line therefore limiting my abilities to argue independent vs. major label politics. (Explanation for retards: These article is about independent music and its inherent differences with the crap you might see on MTV.)
I recommend reading the Ben Weasel and the Steve Albini articles.
today's mp3 {} hot girl |
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| 1.08.01/12:16pm EST | Happy Birthday Elvis |
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In the "who cares?" dept.: The most common name for a pub in Britain is The Red Lion. Despite having a reputation for being a 'warm' beer drinking country, Britain is only ranked 7th in the world in terms of beer consumption. The average Brit will drink 180 pints a year. The heaviest drinkers are in the Czech Republic, who drink an average of 281 pints a year. "We are a nation of men raised by women. I'm beginning to think a woman may be the last thing we need." ...Ah, lessons from Fight Club... This is a very good read. "Marketing Angry Women" takes a look at how anger in women is portrayed in the U.S. media.
"The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a
baby." More stuff from uselessknowledge.com:
CONUNDRUM OF THE WEEK Today's vocabulary words
ly·ce·um (l-sm)
A hall in which public lectures, concerts, and similar programs are presented.
i·con·o·clast (-kn-klst)
One who attacks and seeks to overthrow traditional or popular ideas or institutions.
ob·sti·nate (bst-nt)
Stubbornly adhering to an attitude, an opinion, or a course of action; obdurate. today's mp3 {} girl |
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| 1.04.01/7:46pm EST | I blame my mother for my problems. |
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Before:
After:
If you're my mother, this is how you ask your son to move out.
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| 1.04.01/6:26pm EST | I blame MTV for SOMETHINGS |
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My short attention span only allows me to write really good one minute songs. Here is another one. The Temporary Crackle Coalition - Social Devolution Let us run away from this world of suburbs and sitcoms. Let's bask in the fire outside of our cave while animals and humans coexist on this earth as we once did. Forget everything else. Lets just survive. I'd rather watch a blue moon with you than another infomercial. On another note: The penis auction has ended to a lack of participation and interest which we believe to be due the fact that it wasn't very funny with to begin with. The staff has come to a conclusion to agree on a newly decided idea which, when simply stated is that unnecessarily long, run on sentences are interesting. |
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| 1.04.01/2:26am EST | I blame the media for ANYTHING |
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What does love smell like?. These kids are going to kill themselves. They do stupid shit like the stuff on Jackass but they sound too stupid to do this shit safely. This is going to be the new internet craze. Mark my words, there will be scores of kids killing themselves. I give it till there's a peer to peer network to find this stuff. Six months later: Dateline nbc. Some kid will die when he pisses on the third rail as a joke. Media gets involved. Everyone has heard of the newest "underground craze" in a week. You can say you saw it coming since New years. Your friends will think you're smart. |
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| 1.03.01/2:26pm EST | I blame my parents for EVERYTHING |
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the temporary crackle coalition - "new york is only a day away" I'm going to go to New York. I'm going to prove that I can exist with out a safety net. Fuck comfort. Right?. Wrong. I'm just a damaged little boy with no self-esteem, no guts, just waiting for you to love me. Please accept me. I just want to be cool. This tune is straight off the cuff. Stream of cunshunceness, ya dig? Just me, my thoughts and my geetar. |
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| 1.03.01/11:46am est | Fuck Me, It's been a long time coming. |
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Happy New Year! Now lets move on:
If you've ever been to the Stile Project cam portals you might have seen Amber a few times. She's the one that loves to get naked. I checked out her free webcam today and according to her schedule she'll be on tomorrow night from 9-10 pm EST. Our Pals at Big Wheel Recreation are being sued by the makers of the Big Wheel Tricycle over the "Big Wheel" name. If you ask me a record label and a kids toy manufacturer do not have similar markets. So naturally when I read about their legal hissyfit on their website I sent them this email.
Sent: Thurs, 28 dec 2000 9:39:29 -0800 (EST)
On to other things I was going to mention:
"Hugs from boys" from Braid. Great song. Download it.
The I hate cops story which, after reading, got me so pissed that I couldn't sleep. This poor bastard gets hit by a car that runs a red light, then pistol whipped by the pig chasing the other dude in a case of mistaken identity and then almost killed by the fuzz when he defends himself. From my scribble pad: "Don't forget to mention Outkast's Stankonia and how great it is for all music fans. Mention that you don't like hip hop but this is a milestone album due to the social commentary and how you, for the first time, can actually understand what someone in hip hop is actually talking about."
I met a girl last Thursday who's last name was Turnoff. No joke, I swear. I went to a really cool dive bar here in Miami called Stampede. It's such a shit-hole but it is so much fun on karaoke nights, which I'm sure you've guessed is on Thursdays. So, after badgering my friends for hours, they finally gave her my email address*. Well, she emailed me and made sure to let me know that I am a horrible speler. Among Other things...
Received: Sat, 30 Dec 2000 10:39:29 -0800 (pst)
I hereby bid my favorite purple muumuu, 4 hair curlers
You may be the most celebrated trivial pursuit player,
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| 12.27.00/6:26pm EST | crash |
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My computer keeps crashing. I am so fucking frustrated. Check this out: vulvology. Someone else out there finds beauty in the shape of a vagina just like me. It brings a tear to my eye. Call me at 1-866-430-5800, extension 310 and leave me a rude message. If it's funny it just might make it on to the site. |
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| 12.26.00/11:56pm EST | Code stealin' is cool and so are new colors. |
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wintoons.com has great code to steal. Thanks fella's for the shitty cartoons and the napster code. There will be featured mp3's every update utilizing strategically placed napster code. Want some for your website? Feel free to borrow from me. That's what the web is all about. Click on the link named tunage to see what the magic of right clicking can bring you. |
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| 12.26.00/1:56pm EST | Please! |
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Click on the link at the top. It places a vote for me on a top 100 list. The more votes I get the more people see the site, which is what I'm going for. So reward me a bit. click the link, let it open in a new window click the button at the tope and that's it. Thanks. now, go to napster and do a search for "ed-ucation" from dr. dre. That's some funny shit!
Or.. |
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| 12.26.00/5:00pm EST | Fuck You and your holidays. |
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Check, check it! werd up to all my niggas in da hood, bizzy bangin' an all uh dat! I be fiddin' ta ride out right quick so peep dis: in tha mutha fuckin spirit uh da holi-mutha-fuckin-days. i dun wrote me a funk ass tune called "if you wuz hea fo' ex mus". in the spirt of things around hea in the ttcc office, i dun mentioned my girl gettin all pissed off 'n shit at me for stickin my dick in huh hand when really she wuz expectin a diamond ring oh sumptin'. damn thats sum funny shit.
download the mutha fucka:
ok. now that that's out of my system... I had a nice time at my dad's hanging out with my old friends. Drank a few beers, fucked a few chicks (I wish). I did play Trivial Pursuit and totally kicked karen and kieth's asses which lead me to believe that I maybe one of the smartest people alive. Seriously, I have yet to meet a serious Trivial Pursuit player that can match my unabridged skill. I hear by issue a challenge to all of you who dare to contest me. I will ultimately fuck you up in any of the Genus Edition games. If you think you can out trivot me, then bring it on! It's about time I play with someone who can match my skill.
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| 12.21.00/1:26pm EST | Off to another boring place in FLOrida. |
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Well kiddies the time has come for me to say good bye, until later tonight. I've got a 5 hour drive to my dad's house for the holidays. It seems like the auction is going strong and the developments are happening, gosh, almost hourly. Keep up the good work and bid some more. Let's show this world how much an unused penis is worth! Also, don't for get to tell your friends to bid and possibly click to vote for me on the Stile project top 50. It's just a nice thing to do. |
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| 12.21.00/5:06pm EST | gotta see the goods... |
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Thanks to my good buddy (The Rain Cloud) I have decided to post a picture of my penis.
The Rain Cloud: What happens when the person wins the auction? fuc d e mas: they get my lovin' The Rain Cloud: hmm.. can ANYONE bid? fuc d e mas: yes fuc d e mas: go bid muther fucker! The Rain Cloud: lol. The Rain Cloud: I cant bid bitch The Rain Cloud: I dont purchase anything without looking at it first. So send the pic... fuc d e mas: ok, i'll send you a fucking picture The Rain Cloud: deal.. |
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| 12.21.00/3:26pm EST | My Penis. |
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ebay now requires a credit card to sell items and (naturally) I don't have one. I was going to post my penis for sale today but it was a no go. Here was my description: I am selling my penis to the highest bidder. It is barely used (only handled by me and my mother, but she hasn't touched it in years). It has a slight scar where it was modified and has been kept clean and tested to be working at least 7 times a week (sometimes more depending on how bored I am). It is approximately 7.5 inches long and 2.5 inches in circumference. This would be a great gift for anyone who has no sense of direction. A penis is a very popular tool known to have lead many men in directions they wouldn't have normally taken in life (my father included). If you are or know a bi-sexual female couple this is the perfect holiday gift. please email me with any other questions you may have. UPDATE:After care full thought I have decided to auction it off here. Please place all bids in the new guestbook!. The auction will end on Jan. 27. Check back for updates. |
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| 12.20.00/7:05pm EST | You too can be on jennifer's shit list... |
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I believe Jennifer is cool because:
1. She thinks kim B. is a "STUPID (i mean REALLY STUPID) preppy bitch" |
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| 12.19.00/10:26am EST | SCAT SCAT SCAT |
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I often mention scat stuff I've seen on the web with conversations with my fiends. For the uneducated scat is a very unique fetish that seams to be gaining popularity amongst the shock seeking crowd, my friends and I included. OK, so I'm not going to tell you what it is. Just check it out. |
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| 12.18.00/2:26pm EST | Kids of the K-hole. |
K |
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| 12.18.00/12:26am EST | My finger smells, anyone got a lemon? |
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I am a pisces so naturally I am a water person. I usually go to the beach every weekend. In fact I went on saturday. Man, you gotta love the weather in South Florida. Most of you poor bastards were freezing your shriveled little nuts off everywhere else while I got a blow job on the beach from a mexican empenadas vendor. So my love for water and uncontrollable sex drive got me thinking a little sumptin' nasty. dolphinsex.org is just what I needed, porn for water signs. It has vivid descriptions of sex with dolphins disguised as a faq. Note: If you substitute dolphins with women this story becomes a whole lot better. Or, I may be sick fuck who secretly wants some hot sea-mammal lovin'.
Related Links:
Boredom links: |
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| 12.15.00/3:15pm EST | Exploits of current helpful technology like this one are a dime a dozen.... |
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This is 5 minutes well spent. The Lost in Translation website will take the text you enter and translate it back and forth between 5 languages using the AltaVista translator. If you get any cool results please post them in the new guestbook! We need some action on there. Here are the lyrics to Heart to man, man to girl: Original Lyrics:
like me you're wider than you are taller
your fancy shoes and rubber bullets
i got lost in (missing text)
from the air i could see
when i finally hit the ground
and guess who i saw there, it was your heart
and oh, how i wished her better
but before i walked i way i leaned in to listen.
and that was your heart babelized: as I are more expanded large as you higher I, which is you even choad the No. one calls, you to the ball Their shoes of the fantasy and the rubber balls recoil excluded function of my chin, ounce by the ounce I lost myself at the sea in your eyes I could see air (the missing text), what went down down when I finally fastened the soil, I was escorted with the contact and the assumption, which I saw there, was it your inside and it said to me that she returned even to the track and the OH -, as I required it better and us plans stop let, if I return ** time out ** however, before I have way way of I, which are I I the lean inside for hearing it, have legends, " I know only any a girl, who you are missing and if you never a certain only test of the time to him with house let necessity do, because I is then such a section of you, but it the thing to see to be able, which I then never form and it was its inside and it still I with a smile, to which I probably do not see it for one moment and it to require that you miss a putrid thing, she did not say
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| 12.12.00/12:15pm EST | C&D |
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I can't believe this shit. I got a cease and desist from my last job for crap like this (that was not an admission of guilt, quit trying to pin this garbage on me you commie bastards). Apparently some kids figured out how to hack AIM and aol accounts. Apparently there's this whole scene where these prepubescent dorks trade credit card numbers for AOL names. Why don't you kids do something worthwhile with your time? Listen to some punk rock. Really now, use your evil hacking powers to destroy capitalism!
Related links: |
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| 12.12.00/11:24am EST | The voices magically reappear... |
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This existence for me is growing thin. The weight on me is so unbearable that I can't breathe.Skip pretty much summed it up for me with his post today. While he can't take the pressures that others put on him, I mostly freak out from the crap I put myself through. I thought my days of self-loathing were over. I got a new job, making more than I expected. I was going to get out of debt. My life had begun to take shape. Boy was I wrong. I think I’m still waiting for someone to make me do what I need to do. I’m still dreaming for a father figure to take me by the hand and say, Hey son, you don’t belong in this world. You’re way to fragile. Come to the magic land of the good where everyone loves you and can tolerate you. Where the drugs are free and so is the love.” How absurd. All this dreaming isn’t good today. I need to stay grounded and miserable. |
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| 11.28.00/2:07pm EST | New Song! |
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the temporary crackle coalition - heart to man, man to girl.mp3 download it! recorded last night. fresh, just released, unheard of anywhere* . did i mention it was new? lyrics:
like me you're wider than you are taller
your fancy shoes and rubber bullets
i got lost in (missing text)
from the air i could see
when i finally hit the ground
and guess who i saw there, it was your heart
and oh, how i wished her better
but before i walked i way i leaned in to listen.
and that was your heart
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| 11.19.00/6:26am EST | Title. |
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Text. |